Goodbye 20's

I’m sitting here listening to Taylor Swift’s new album for the 45th time and eating sour patch kids watermelon thinking to myself, damn…I’m really about to be 30 tomorrow…where in the world did my 20s go.

You ever try really hard to think about events that took place or milestones that made you seem productive and adult-like, and your mind ends up blank? That was me and still is me. I left home at the age of 19, joined the military, made mistakes, fell in love, got to travel, met incredible people who I hold so dear and near to my soul, made more mistakes, fell out of love, felt lost and confused as fuck about life, left the military, traveled some more, discovered who I thought I was, realized that wasn’t who I wanted to be and then just sat there like now what…

That’s the point, though, right. It’s societal standards that make you think that you need to have your entire life figured out by 25 or you’re a failure - when in reality you’re never going to have the right answer or the perfect timing to do anything, and you damn sure can’t please everyone.

I am thankful for all of the mistakes, heartaches, and disappointments I had in my 20s. I also accomplished some pretty dope things and checked some major boxes off of my goals list. So let’s recap those, simply for my future self, in case I forget one day how fucking amazing I actually am.

You got to travel Europe…something you wrote in your journal when you were 17, “Visit England” and bitch you got to live in England for 4 years! While you were there, you got to travel to places like Crete, Spain, Sicily and you lived 45 mins away from London and were there all the damn time. You got to sit front row at a fashion show during London Fashion Week. How many 20-year-olds can say all of that…hmmm…exactly.

You met your best friend, the person who countlessly saved you from yourself over and over again. The one who single-handedly made you want to keep living when you were on the verge of giving up. The one who made you feel like you were worthy of it all when you were made to think otherwise. I know that many people meet their best friend when they are in kindergarten, but you were fortunate enough to meet them in your early 20s, and that is a blessing in itself. You both have been through so much and still going strong.

Remember when you were 12, and you wanted to write a poetry book called “To a boy from a girl” well, you did it, not with the same title, but you published your poetry book. It did amazing, and the support was overwhelming. We didn’t really make any money, but you did have a couple of people tell you that your words helped them out so much. You wrote it with a girl you met on Facebook…yeah, Facebook and didn’t meet until the day of the book signing.

The amount of traveling you did outside of being stationed in Europe…insane. You wanted to travel, and Gawd damn did you travel. Washington, Florida, Arizona, Nevada, Colorado, Alabama, and Georgia, to name a few.

Oh, and remember how obsessed you were with Fall out boy…2017, you got to unleash your inner emo child. Their concert was one of the 8 you went to in 2017. You were literally all over the place when it came to music and events; you even got to shoot concert photography for Steve Aoki and was published in a local magazine.

One of the most incredible highlights was meeting the littlest love of your life - Your sweet and precious Goddaughter and the memories you have with her are endless.

& you even got your second chance at love your last year of your 20s. Just when you thought you would be a crazy cat lady and adopt 3 more cats and artificially inseminate yourself and be a single mom like JLo from that one movie.

Needless to continue to say, you did some dope shit, met some awesome people, and explored and experienced life as best as you could. It shaped you to be who you are and love the way you do. That’s something so personal and true to YOU, and no one can take those away from you.

So as you enter 30, embrace it with unwavering gratitude for making it this far, for continuing to be you - whatever version of that you are in each and every moment. Understand that the difficult moments will come and sometimes linger, but the awareness is progress. You are making it happen and continuing to push to make your goals become a reality. Remember to take moments to appreciate the little victories and embrace them. Enjoy the silence every once in a while, grind to keep your creative passions and business pursuits alive and thriving. Most importantly, Love yourself in every stage of growth & please be kind to yourself.

Love,

You - age 29.